A bridge is a way to propel a conversation forward and steer it in the
direction you want it to go. The first bridge generally happens right after
the opener; you ask a question or make an observation. The question or
observation should lead to a value building routine or story.
This technique was developed when a fellow coach and I were
discussing the "I have nothing to say" phenomenon, which consistently
plagues our students. At the time, we didn’t teach a technique for
strategically evolving a conversation on the spot. We sat down and
thought about what drives interaction forwards. We noticed two things:
- People would make contextual observations, or
- People ask questions seemingly out of nowhere.
Here are a few examples:"So, how's work?"
"How's your wife doing?"
"You remind me of this teacher I had."
"I love the music here."
"How do you all know each other?"
"I love your necklace."Everyone, in every conversation we observed, used questions and
observations to propel conversation forward. Stack enough of questions
and observations together and you can easily extend the length of a
conversation, ad infinitum. And when we extracted this pattern, we knew
immediately that this was our answer.
However, as seducers we want to be a little more strategic. Can we
use bridging to not only propel conversation forward, but also to steer it
where we wanted it to go? Absolutely.