comfortable with you in conversation. If they’re not comfortable
with you and you show disinterest, they’ll just push you away.- It Must Have Context: Active disinterest that comes out of
nowhere generally has it opposite effect than the one you want; it
shows interest rather than showing disinterest. Practicing active
disinterest means paying attention to the conversation that’s at
hand and commenting on what’s actually happening. - It's Part of the Plan: We emphasize active disinterest for a
reason. It’s necessary. You must manufacture emotional spikes if
they don’t come up naturally, which most often they do not. Don’t
forget to use it, or skip it because you’re uncomfortable. - Eventually Interest Outweighs Disinterest: Once you’ve
reached the connect phase, active interest must out weigh the
active disinterest. In other words, you don’t have to stop flirting,
but at that point she has to know you’re more interested than not.
You have to dissolve those temporary barriers and connect at long
last.
These are the principles behind active disinterest, good
disqualification, banter and flirting. For the record: What active
disinterest, banter and flirting is: it's not an argument nor an insult.
You never win an argument, because even if you win, you lose the
future of a possible beautiful relationship. And most of the time
arguments end with both people still on the side they started on. The
barrier that was there when the argument started remains intact. Insults
and making fun of other people immediately destroys trust. For this
reason, arguments and insults are the least seductive form of
communication. Just avoid it.
IMPORTANT: Timing your active disinterest: