By getting your needs met in the earlier stages, you are able
to discover how much spiritual chemistry or love you feel for
someone. Using the right dating skills cannot make you love
someone more or make him or her love you more, but dating
skills can assist you in discovering how much love you have
for a person.
CHEMISTRY IS NOT CREATED
Chemistry on any level cannot be created. You cannot make
someone physically attracted to you. All you can do is create
the right conditions for that person to discover what chemistry
is possible. You cannot just drill a well anywhere and find
water.
When a woman in a restaurant gets up and walks to the rest
room, a man gets to see her. Either he feels the chemistry or
he doesn’t. The same woman viewed by different men will
evoke different degrees of attraction and interest.
In a similar manner, we cannot create emotional, mental, or
spiritual chemistry. It just is. What we can do is create the right
conditions for people to discover how much they love us or
how much they find us truly interesting or how much they
want to make us happy. All we can do is make sure we have
the opportunity to feel chemistry to the degree it exists.
By setting up the right conditions in the earlier stages, we
give whatever chemistry is potentially there a chance to be felt.
When you have seen the best of a person over time, then your
heart has a chance to open. With enough love in your heart,
you are then prepared to experience the worst of that person
and still come back to a loving connection. You are able to hold
him or her in your heart even though you may be frustrated
or disappointed.
STAGE FOUR: INTIMACY / 91