Without the pressures of marriage,
a man has many opportunities to successfully
experience his power to provide.Being engaged gives a man the future ability to connect with
the most noble part of who he is. At times of stress, he is able
to reach back and remember the promises he made when his
heart was open. He is able to reconnect with that part of him
that deeply cares, respects, and cherishes his partner.
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT SKILLS
Being engaged is a stage for couples to celebrate their love in
preparation for getting married. During this window of time,
we have the greatest ability to learn and practice the two most
important skills of staying married: the ability to apologize
and the ability to forgive. By practicing these two skills before
the more difficult challenges arise, couples are then ready to
get married. These two skills are like the two wings of a bird.
Without both wings the bird of love and peace cannot fly.
Apologies and forgiveness are interdependent. When one
partner apologizes, that makes it easier for the other to find
forgiveness. When one partner is very forgiving, that makes
it easy for the other to be more responsible and apologize. It
is difficult for a man to apologize for his mistakes when he
does not sense he will be forgiven. It is equally difficult for a
woman to forgive a man’s mistakes when he does not apolo-
gize. One cannot exist for long without the other.
STAGE FIVE: ENGAGEMENT / 113