help anyone, but he too makes a lot of money. This money also
makes him happy.
By putting yourself in his situation it is easy to sense how
much better he feels about himself in the first case, when he
worked hard and helped a lot of people. No matter what a
man receives, he will feel better about it when he feels that he
actively pursued it and achieved it. The better a man feels
about himself, the more he is motivated to share himself and
the more attracted he is to someone who makes him feel that
way.
GIVING AND RECEIVING A MASSAGE
Giving and receiving a massage clearly points out the differ-
ence between active interest and receptive interest. When Philip
is giving Marie a neck massage, he is actively interested in
giving a wonderful massage. These are some of his thoughts
and feelings when he is actively interested:
I wonder what she will like best?
What approach should I use to make her feel really good?
I think I will try doing this a little more softly.
I bet she would like this long gentle stroke.
Now I will move my hands down her back.
This will be very relaxing.
Oh, she has a lot of tension here.
I think I should do this move a little longer.
Oh, good—she released that tension.182 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.