gift she can give a man, just as a man’s active interest is the
greatest gift he can give her.
A WOMAN’S WORTH
Without an understanding of men, many women think they
have to “do something” to earn a man’s love and attention.
These women do not understand the intrinsic value of simply
being interested in and receptive to what a man has to offer.
A woman does not recognize that being open and responsive
to a man’s “doing” is in itself giving back to the man.
A woman thrives when a man “does” for her. When a man
is actively interested, she is most interested in him. Since this
is her experience, she mistakenly assumes it is the same for a
man, but it is not.
Most women don’t realize their value to men. A man thrives
when a woman is open and receptive to his interest and his
attempts to interest, impress, and fulfill her. Her receptivity is
her gift to him; he is grateful for the opportunity to know her,
connect with her, and bask in her radiance. Without her to
please, he is a man out of work. He needs a job. He needs the
opportunity to succeed in a relationship with a woman. This
is an enormous boost to his fulfillment in life.
DESIRE AND DYNAMIC TENSION
Desire, interest, and passion in a relationship come from dy-
namic tension. This dynamic tension is created, awakened, or
“turned on” when a man gives and a woman receives gra-
ciously. When a man gives to a woman and is successful in
pleasing her, then at some level he anticipates something in
return. This anticipation creates excitement, interest, and
184 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.