repeat patterns. When we end a relationship with good feelings,
we will take another step closer to the partner of our dreams.
If you can’t easily end relationships in stages one and two,
then it will be much harder to move through the next stages.
Once again, remember that the attraction stage is a time to
discover your likes and dislikes and to get to know the kind
of person you are and what you want. Being able to say no to
someone because he or she is not the right person for you
strengthens your resolve to find the right person.
Saying no also helps you adjust and make more accurate
your ability to be attracted and turned on to the kind of partner
with whom you would want to pursue a long-term relation-
ship. This same principle is equally true for women and men.
The very act of saying no to a relationship that is not right for
you fine-tunes your ability to be attracted to the person who
is right for you.
252 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.