3 Stage One: Attraction
Although feelings of attraction are automatic, in order
to sustain attraction in a personal relationship we must also
be skillful in presenting ourselves in ways that are not just
appealing to the other sex but supportive as well. It is not
enough to say, “Here I am; take me as I am.” The alchemy of
creating a loving relationship is a very delicate balance of give-
and-take. The blending together of male and female must be
done in gradual stages.
In stage one, quite often it is the anticipation that we can get
what we need or want from a relationship with a potential
partner that tends to sustain attraction. Without a clear message
that we can get what we need, the attraction will disappear. It
can be so easy to misinterpret our date’s actions and reactions
and be turned off simply because we think and feel so differ-
ently. One of the biggest challenges in the beginning of a rela-
tionship is to sustain the feeling of
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