something or even imagine something about a man that trig-
gers a surge of confidence in her. She feels, This is the man of
my dreams; he is the one for me; he is perfect for me. It is as
though she falls under a spell. In this state she responds to him
as if she were already getting everything she could ever want.
She is lovingly responsive and receptive to whatever he does.
The excitement certainly brings out the best in her and makes
her very attractive, but it can also prevent him from continuing
to feel a strong attraction for her.
When a woman falls in love,
she may feel as if she is already getting
everything she could ever want.She feels so satisfied by his presence that she begins to think,
He is so wonderful. What can I do to be worthy of him? How
can I earn this love? What should I do for him? How can I make
sure he likes me? How can I be most attractive to him? These
kinds of thoughts then lead to action. As she proceeds to pursue
him, he becomes less interested in her.
A wise woman approaches the situation differently. Even if
she does fall in love, she is careful to remember that even
though it feels as if she were in an exclusive relationship with
her ideal partner, she is not. Even if he has the potential to be
the man of her dreams, he is not yet. She needs to remember
that they are in stage one. He is not even exclusive with her
(stage three), nor does she really know him (stage four), and
they definitely are not engaged to be married (stage five). It is
vitally important for a woman to remember what stage their
relationship is in and respond appropriately to that stage.
Having a clear awareness of the stages of dating helps us to
keep this balanced perspective.
STAGE ONE: ATTRACTION / 45