love. When she is getting her needs met, then and only then
is his happiness hers.
When men feel good about themselves, they are most motiv-
ated to please a woman. The more a man’s life is in order, the
more he hungers for a woman to share it with. Although he
may feel very autonomous and independent, he begins to feel
empty. He is missing something. That something is satisfied
through fulfilling a woman or making her happy. A woman
need never feel obligated to please a man. By giving him the
opportunity to please her more, she allows a man to be most
fulfilled.
A woman need never feel
obligated to please a man.This concept is hard for women to understand, because when
a woman feels autonomous and independent, instead of feeling
a need to care for someone, she feels the need for someone to
care for her. When she feels empty and hungers for a relation-
ship, she has already spent most of herself giving to others.
Romance for her is the opportunity to relax and let someone
else take charge of her needs.
When she feels empty, she feels a need to receive. If she was
feeling empty and continued to give, then it would make her
very unhappy if she didn’t get something in return. A simple
smile and a thank you from the man she was giving to would
not be enough. When a man feels empty, and can succeed in
fulfilling a woman’s needs, a simple smile and a thank you
from her are plenty for him.
FALLING IN LOVE RIGHT AWAY
Besides not understanding men, there is another reason women
tend to give too much. Sometimes a woman will see
44 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.