Chapter 31
Pleasurable Sex
Sex was created by God as something beautiful and pleasurable to be enjoyed by both the
husband and wife, and not just for procreation.^1 Husbands and wives must therefore decide to
make sex pleasurable. Pleasurable sex can be defined as sex in which both partners set out to give
and derive maximum excitement. Pleasurable sex is not a performance to display sexual prowess.
It involves having real fun with your spouse.^2
16 Steps to Pleasurable Sex
(1) Be nice to each other during the day. Small thoughtful acts e.g. an intimate phone
call, a bunch of flowers, are important.
(2) Look nice, smell nice and be clean. You may choose to wear clothes or nightwear
that your partner finds exciting.
(3) Choose a nice place to have sex e.g. living room, bathroom, bedroom, or bedroom floor.
(4) Set the lights to what suits you––darkness, dim lights or bright lights.^3
(5) Foreplay begins with spontaneous endearing conversation with loving pats, hugs
and kisses.^4
(6) Gradually the couple undress each other.
(7) The husband must continue stimulating his wife by kissing and caressing her lips,
thighs, buttocks, clitoris, labia minora and other parts of her body until she is
sexually excited. This is signalled by an increase in lubrication of the vagina.^5
(8) The wife should also continue stimulating her husband by rubbing and caressing
the penis (especially the tip) and kissing and caressing his “known” sensitive areas.
(9) Let your partner know which movements stimulate you or distract you.^6NB: Excitement is slower to reach its peak in a woman and lasts longer than in a man.
The sexual arousal of a woman can be compared to the heating of an electric iron
(it takes time to build up) whereas that of the man can be compared to the