Model Marriage
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:22
(Refer to Chapter 12 pg. 48-52, “Duties of the Wife”).Finances
Q. He is selfish. He does not give me enough money.
A. Finances or the use of money is one of the areas in marriage capable of being controversial. In certain
cultures, it is the responsibility of the husband to provide all the money needed. When that is the case, he seems to
wield power to determine absolutely what money will be used for.
With our present economic realities, both husbands and wives contribute to the upkeep of the home. It therefore
implies that whereas he is the head of the home, he does not reserve the right to unilaterally decide on what money
will be used for in a home. Husbands are encouraged to give their wives enough spending money for the house as
well as some to spend on themselves. Please do not be “arm-strong” or stingy.
(Refer to Chapter 15 pg. 58-60, “Principles of Finance in Marriage”).
Q. He counts his pennies and talks too much about money.
A. Where it appears that he is the sole breadwinner, he may complain sometimes about money and its use. It
is however not a bad thing in itself that a man counts his pennies. It is a sign of frugality. However, if it leads to a
situation where he is a miser, then something is wrong.
(Refer to Chapter 15 pg. 58-60, “Principles of Finance in Marriage”; See also the book “Frugality” by Dr.
D.C. Heward-Mills).
Q. We cannot decide on how much to spend on clothes for ourselves.
A. It must be by consensus and discussion. It must be done rather scientifically and logically through the use
of a budget. The point that is being made is that for there to be peace and joy at home, the use of money must be
planned jointly bearing in mind that as stewards of God’s money we will render account some day.
(Refer to Chapter 15 pg. 58-60, “Principles of Finance in Marriage”).
Q. Should we have a joint bank account?
A. There is no rule that once married a couple must maintain a joint account. What is important is that they
must operate their finances based on the principle that what each one has is for both. Furthermore, there must be
transparency.
This means that whereas physically they may be operating from different bank accounts, substantially they will
be operating a joint account because of the transparency.
(Refer to Chapter 15 pg. 58-60, “Principles of Finance in Marriage”).
Q. He is so careful with money he makes life uncomfortable sometimes.
A. Being careful with money is supposed to be a good thing. When we are able to plug all leakages around our
finances we are able to have more, so it is a sign of good management.
However, if it makes life uncomfortable for the wife then another look ought to be taken at the manner in which
it is done. Handling of finances at home must be a mutual joint effort through discussion and dialogue. No one should
feel left out. Encourage transparency.
(Refer to Chapter 15 pg. 58-60, “Principles of Finance in Marriage”).