Model Marriage by Bishop Dag Heward Mills

Typical Questions of Married Couples and the Answers

This helps the couple to stay together and to obviate certain negative tendencies that may be gaining root among
the children.

(Refer to Chapter 7 pg. 22-27, “The Christian Home”).
Q. We are unable to practically apply or involve godly principles in situations that confront us.
A. It is unfortunate that the very thing that can help you solve problems in your marriage is what you have
difficulty doing. You can only do this when you consciously decide that God knows better than you do and that if He
has said something in His Word concerning the situation, it will definitely be a better solution than yours.

In other words, it takes a commitment to decide that we are going to apply biblical principles to solving problems
in the marriage. Even if one party is unwilling, the other can stick to the biblical stance and what the Bible says.
Through your obedience to the Word, you may win him to your side.

(Refer to Chapter 7 pg. 27-32,“The Christian Home”).

Family Matters

Q. She listens to her mother more than to me.
A. Trust and confidence is earned, so no one can wish them into being. The husband must work hard to earn
the trust of his wife. In other words, if a wife listens to someone else more than to her husband, it could indicate an
absence of trust.

On the other hand, a wife ought to know that Genesis 2:24 enjoins “leaving and cleaving” as vital for the success
of any marriage. She must leave the influence, direction and control of her parents (mother) in order to cleave to her
husband.

She must learn that the marriage concerns both of them more than any other person, hence the counsel of the
husband must be deemed more germane to the marriage than the counsel of any other. The husband should try and
improve upon friendshipand communication in the marriage.

(Refer to Chapter 6 pg. 19-20, “The God Type of Marriage––Leaving and Cleaving”).
Q. She is unable to make time as far as taking care of the home is concerned.
A. Wives are naturally “harassed” people in marriage in this part of the world. Their roles include: worker,
cook, sex partner, mother, Christian and hostess. A combination of all these can sometimes prove to be rather
overwhelming for many a wife.

What appears to be happening in this case is that the wife is solving her challenges by neglecting some of her
roles in a home. This usually creates other problems.

The way to deal with this problem is for the husband to protect her from the strain of housework. She must also
learn to ask for help. Furthermore, she must bear in mind that all her roles are equally important. Finally, she must
know that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her.

Husband, talk about the situation with your wife and, together, fashion out a strategy to help her organize her life
better.

(Refer to Chapter 12 pg. 48-52,“Duties of the Wife”; Chapter 13 pg. 53-54, “The Total Wife”).
Q. She neglects the children.
A. The response for this will not be any different from the one immediately before this. The wife may need
some help in organizing things. If on the other hand, her handicap is the fact that she genuinely does not know how
to handle children, then they must seek counselling to resolve the matter to avoid any future problems.

(Refer to Chapter 12 pg. 48-52, “Duties of the Wife”; Chapter 13 pg. 53-54, “The Total Wife”).