ImamSadiq(AS)alsostated:'Whoeverpunishesthosewhoaresubor-
dinatetohim,shouldnotexpecttobehonouredortoattainhighranks'."'
One of the causes of rows among men and women is because men's
mother-in-law but into their family affairs.
Amother, before marrying her daughteroff toa man, Imaginesher
son-in-lawtobe perfectandapprovesforherdaughterone whocould
makeherhappy.Shewouldrespecthimandwouldtreathimkindlyin
the hope of being able to correct his trivial faults at a later stage.
Sometimesshefindsher son-in-lawconformstoherexpectation,and
sometimeshedoesnot.Inthelattercase,sheintendstoshapehimuntil
he can be accepted byher andfor thisshe uses everypossiblemeans
such as her own and others' experiences, and starts to plan her approach.
Shesometimes pretendstobe sympatheticandsometimes strict.She
mightactasaguideandasupervisor,ormightcomplain.However,the
bestoptionistoachievehergoalbyinfluencingherdaughterbymaking
her not conform to her husband.
Sheusesherdaughterandthusordershertoactdifferentlyatvarious
times.Consequently,themanfindshiswifetobecriticalofhimoneday
and begging him to do something the next day.
Aninexperiencedwomanwouldthinkthathermotherwouldbesym-
pathetictoher marriageandwouldconformto heradvice! Thusifher
husbandstill doesnot conformto his mother-in-law'sideal man, rows
may break out between the couple which could result in divorce and
even murder.
Thatis whymostmenare notongoodterms with theirmothers-in-
law. They blame them for their wives' disobedience and believe that
their mothers put words in their daughters' mouths.
It would not be a bad idea ifone learns about complaints of a few
sons-in-law. Mr M Javad writes: 'My mother-in-law is a demon, a
dragon,atwo-headedserpent.MayGodsavethewolvesfromher.She
hasmademy lifesobitterthat Iam going crazyandfeellikerunning
away to the mountains and deserts...It is not onlyme who is fed up
withthissituation.ThisisageneralcaseandIthinkninety-fivepercent