Chapter 12

Don't Look at Anyone Other Than Your Husband

Dearlady!beforeyourmarriageyoumayhavehadotheroffersofmatri-
mony. These offers may be from rich, educated, handsome men. etc
whomyoumayhavewishedtomarry.Such expectationswerenatural
beforeyour marriage.Butnow thatyouhavechosenyour partnerand
signedasacredcovenantwithhimtobetogetherfortherestofyourlife,
thenforgetthepastaltogether.Youmustputasideyourpastwishesand
forgetthosepastoffers.Do notthinkofany menexceptyourhusband
andfindpeacewithhim.Ifyoudootherwiseyouwillplaceyourselfina
strained condition.

Nowthatyouhaveagreedtolivewithyourhusband,whyshouldyou
be constantlynoticingotherman? Whyshouldyou comparehimwith
others? What do you achieve by looking at other men except putting
yourselfinapermanentlymiserablestateandcausementalanguishfor
yourself!

ImamAli(AS)stated:'Whoeverleaveshiseyesatliberty,willalways
sufferthrough his nerves, andwillbe trapped ina permanentstateof
envy'."

Bylookingatothermenandcomparingyourhusbandwiththem,you
will find a manwho doesnot haveyour husband's faults. You might
thenthinkthatmanisperfect,becauseyouarenotawareofthedeficien-
cies of such a man. You regard your marriage as a failure and this
thought might lead to disastrous ends.

"MrsXan18-yearoldwomanwhohadrunawayfromhomewasar-
restedbythepolicelastnight.Inthepolicestationthewomansaidthat,
afterthreeyearsofmarriage,shegraduallyfeltthatshedidnotloveher