The next time you’re at an event where people are informally standing and talk-
ing in groups, watch the body language to discover who’s in and who’s out. The
people who stand with their weight on one foot are the outsiders, and the ones
who lean in with their heads tilted slightly forward are the insiders.
Following are a few random bits of info about posture as a sign of status:
When a person deliberately defers to you they are showing low-status
behaviour.
In many Eastern countries bowing is expected as a sign of respect.
In the military a sign of respect is to stand to attention.
You’re more likely to hold your hands on hips in the presence of individ-
uals whose status is equal to or lower than yours. In front of someone
whose status is higher than yours, your body language is symmetrical.
Leaning forward to show interest and liking ..................................
According to Professor Albert Mehrabian of UCLA, people who like each
other tend to lean in towards one another. The more you like someone, the
more your body inclines in her direction. The forward lean is a sign of inti-
macy and affection.
By leaning towards another person you’re sharing space with her and show-
ing that you want to be close. Accomplished interviewers understand the
power of getting physically close to the person they’re interviewing. After
they’ve created a rapport with the person, they lean towards her to show
that there’s trust. By appropriately moving into another person’s personal
space you’re demonstrating that you like her.
Debbie and Jonathan have been married for 12 years. They’re still physically
affectionate with one another and are comfortable cuddling and touching one
another. Their friends frequently remark how much physical contact they
make and how much in love they seem to be. One Sunday Debbie and
Jonathan had a group of friends to lunch. As Jonathan opened a bottle of
champagne the liquid spurted from the bottle, making a mess over the
counter and floor, wasting half the bottle of bubbly. Debbie immediately
rushed to Jonathan and leaned into his chest, giving him a hug with one arm,
as she cleaned up the counter with the dishtowel in her other.
Although facial expressions give more information about emotions, posture
shows the degree of intensity.
Chapter 7: Take It From the Torso 119