Deciding who reaches out first .........................................................
Although shaking hands when meeting another person for the first time is
customary, in some instances making the first move may not be appropriate.
For example, if you’ve forced the meeting or the other person is uncomfort-
able in your presence it would be inappropriate for you to extend your hand
as a sign of trust and welcome. Yet if you consider the person you’re meeting
to be your equal and you’re both glad to see one another, you simultaneously
extend your hands in greeting.
When you show up at a customer’s without having been invited wait to see if
she extends her hand in welcome. If you put your hand out first she may feel
forced to shake your hand, creating a negative feeling. If no handshake is
forthcoming, give a small nod of your head instead.
Because some people aren’t sure whether or not to shake a woman’s hand in
a business context, the woman should extend her hand first to show that
she’s comfortable to shake hands. That way avoids wondering and fumbling.
Conveying attitude .............................................................................
Some people shake hands as if they’re Attila the Hun about to put you in your
place. Others remain passive and detached, barely offering you a fingertip.
Still others present you with a cold, clammy hand reminiscent of a wet mack-
erel. How people shake hands tells you a lot about them, their attitude, and
their feelings about the person they’re about to touch.
University of Alabama professor William Chaplin and his students examined
the relationship between personality and styles of handshakes. They found
that extroverted and emotionally expressive people are inclined to shake
hands firmly whereas neurotic and shy people don’t. They also found that
women who have an open attitude to new experiences use a firm handshake.
The bone cruncher
Before you can stuff your hand in your pocket the Bone Cruncher is there,
turning your knuckles into pulverised bone. These people seem to have an
overly aggressive attitude to compensate for their ineffectualness. The Bone
Cruncher is to be avoided when it comes to shaking hands because you can
do little to counter the action.
To avoid a potentially painful handshake both men and women should avoid
wearing rings on your right hands in a business context.
Chapter 9: It's in the Palm of Your Hand 157