Body Language

Paying Attention to Touching ....................................................................

Favourable judgement is most often given to the person who is able comfort-

ably to touch someone else. Granted, Anglo-Saxons have more difficulty

embracing the gesture, because their culture is one that refrains from touch-

ing. That small point aside, the people you see touching are the ones who are

Offering information or advice

Giving a command

Making a request

Persuading another person

At a party

Conveying enthusiasm

Listening to another person’s troubles

In a dominant role

When another person touches you, that person is implying that a bond exists

between the two of you. Unless, of course, that person’s a politician, in which

case you can figure she just wants your vote. Go to Chapter 9 for more on

messages conveyed through touch.

Responding to Appearance.........................................................................

With some exceptions allowed for, the first impression you get of people

comes through what you observe about their physical appearance. You may

start by noticing their clothes. Clothes, as a reflection of the wearer, send out

messages for others to interpret. They’re a sign of what the person wearing

them is like. If the person you’re analysing wears clean, well fitting clothes,

has had a recent hair cut, and brushes twice a day, you’re looking at someone

who has a sense of personal pride.

And what about fitness? Whatever the investment in clothing and acces-

sories, without a fit body reflecting an active mind, a person has trouble con-

vincing an observer that no confidence issues exist that aren’t being addressed.

To find out more about how confidence is reflected in the way you present

yourself, take a look at Building Self-Confidence For Dummies by Kate Burton

and Brinley Platts.

Chapter 19: Ten Ways to Find Out about Someone without Asking 281