Suri was scolding her young son, Jordan, for drawing a rainbow on the newly
hung wallpaper. Jordan looked scared when his mother first called his name.
His lips trembled, and his eyes were wide with fear. After a moment he
relaxed. Although his mother was frowning at him, her mouth looked liked
it was smiling. After being told not to draw on the wallpaper again, Jordan
skipped off. While Suri was initially annoyed when she saw Jordan’s crayon
drawing, she also thought it was quite sweet.
Because of the powerful impressions non-verbal behaviour can make, choose
those gestures that represent the message you want to convey.
Bill Clinton is known for his powers of persuasion. A technique he employs
with alacrity is interspersing his remarks with a wide range of facial gestures.
During the Labour Party Conference in Blackpool in October 2002, Clinton
was called in to convince the non-believers that Britain must support the
United States in war against Iraq should the necessity rise. A master of the
gesture, Clinton utilised his knowledge of theatre, people and persuasion to
act out his feelings. Notably, he used the ‘lower lip bite’ to create the impres-
sion that he connected deeply with his audience and experienced their fear
and pain.
When you’re not being perceived the way you want to be, consider your
facial expressions. If your face is saying one thing and you mean something
else, you may have to change your expression. To counteract the message
that your non-verbal behaviour projects, readjust your behaviour.
64 Part II: Starting at the Top
Looking beyond the hang-dog expression
Some people are born looking sombre or sad;
they can’t help it. Their eyes turn down, their
mouths curve south, and their cheeks hang slack,
rather like the bulldog whose facial parts all suffer
from gravity’s pull. The person with a downward
facing countenance has a look that spells
‘sombre’.
People with sombre expressions can be per-
ceived as unfriendly, thoughtful, or sad. Although
they may be telling you how thrilled they are
about their latest successful venture, their facial
make-up says they’re less than happy.
If someone with a sombre expression tells you
how excited he is about a project, look to his
eyes. If they’re engaged and the muscles around
the outer edges are pulling upward, you can
believe what he says.
People with a perpetually sunny expression can
be mistaken as frivolous or less serious. You
need to take in the whole person before making
a judgement about him.