In middle school and high school, I wasn't one of the kids that got notes
from girls. I didn't socialize with girls at the dances. And I never had a
girlfriend (I know... boo-hoo for me).
I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 18. I always just kind of
assumed that I wasn't attractive to women and just silently worshipped them
from afar. I'll tell you, back then I would have done ANYTHING to have a
girlfriend. But the more years that went by without one, the less likely it
seemed.
In any event, I met a girl when I was 18... She was unstable and came
from the most bizarre, dysfunctional alcoholic family... and was just the co-
dependent, needs-a-guy-to-"save"-her project that I thought I wanted.
Well, over the next 8 or 9 years I had about 5 or 6 girlfriends. They were
mostly great women, but I now realize that I got into relationships with them
because I DIDN'T THINK THAT I HAD ANY OTHER OPTIONS.
Whenever I was single, I always had a very lonely, insecure feeling that
created desperation to find a woman who would be with me. Then, when I
found one, I would cling to them instantly, hoping that they would love me.
Then I moved to Southern California to be closer to the company for which
I worked. Shortly after, I quit that job, and I broke up with my long-distance
girlfriend.
So here I was, in my late 20‘s, in a new place with no friends and no
girlfriend... with that same lonely, unsure feeling that I always got when I was
single.
I made the decision that it was time to get this part of my life handled. I
wanted to figure out how to be successful with women and dating so that I
wouldn't be so insecure anymore.
I didn't like the idea that I could be out in public, see a woman that I'd like
to meet, but have no idea what to do to meet her. I didn't like the idea that I
had to feel fortunate when a woman liked me... but that I had no control over
which women liked me and when I could approach them.
So, being the kind of guy I am, I decided to do something about it once
and for all.
I made a commitment to myself that I was going to do whatever it took to
get this handled. I started reading books, going to seminars, listening to
tapes, and searching the Internet for ideas.
At first, I was excited because there seemed to be quite a bit of good
books available on the topic. But the more techniques I tried, the more I