while others seem clueless. Because of the possibility of having clueless
precede us in the selling process, sales professionals must deal constantly
with a degree of “sales baggage” with every client or potential client.
Consequently, when you mention the word sellingor salesperson,you get a
broad range of emotional reactions, the worst of which are feelings of ma-
nipulation resulting from chicanery and hyperbole.
SELLING BY ANY OTHER NAME
Emotional intelligence in selling begins with the recognition that one
must meet emotional agendas beyond the buy-and-sell transaction for a
buyer to be satisfied with the transaction. Our skill level in the field of
human emotions must keep pace with our expertise in our field of com-
merce. The reticence that many clients have about dealing with people
who sell is quite likely from having done business with individuals who ei-
ther did not clearly understand these emotional factors or who understood
their importance but used them exploitatively.
MY AGENDA
When I asked my wife how she felt about the word sellingand the peo-
ple who sell,her answer was instructive. “It depends on how much I want
what they’re selling. If I want it, and they know what they are talking about
and are not pushy, then I like the process and the people selling. But, if I’m
not sure I want it, or they don’t know what they’re talking about, or they are
trying to push something on me, then I don’t like it (or them) at all.”
My wife’s answer reveals critical dynamics that lead to an emotional
connection (or disconnection) between buyer and vendor. Her response
reveals three levels of judgment.
1.Emotional desire.(“If it is what Iwant”)
2.Intelligence. (“If they know what they are talking about”)
3.Emotional approach.(“If they are not pushy”)This reply is instructive for sales professionals because it reflects a sat-
isfaction filterthat clients use when entertaining sales approaches. A client
requires intelligence at three levels: “Do you know me?”, “Do you know
your stuff?”, and “Do you know how to approach me?”
This book will largely deal with the intelligence required to satisfy the
first and last questions. Do you know me? Do you know how to approach
viii Introduction