RELATED LEADERSHIP TOOLS
8.4 Dialogue and Discussion 8.7 Active Listening 13.6 Attribution Theory
8.5 Metacommunicating 8.9 Cross-Cultural 14.7 Personal Preferences
8.6 Communication 101 12.6 Confrontation 15.2 Emotional Intelligence
FOR FURTHER ASSISTANCE
Norretranders, Tor, and Jonathan Sydenham (Translator). The User Illusion: Cutting Consciousness Down to Size. Viking
Press, 1999.
Stone, Douglas, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, and Roger Fisher. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters
Most. Penguin USA, 2000.
Tannen, Deborah. That’s Not What I Meant: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships.Ballantine Books,
1991.
SECTION 8 TOOLS FORCOMMUNICATION 235
❑ You listen to find patterns; you are aware of your own filtering.
❑ You are aware of the tendency to formulate a response when you should be listening.
❑ Besides listening for data, you also listen for other people’s feelings. [☛8.7 Active Listening]
❑ You can separate the person from the issues.
❑ You are aware of your own interpretation rules.
❑ You are aware of choosing data to support your position.
❑ You ask for feedback to confirm your emerging interpretations.
❑ While recognizing your feelings, you remain objective about the issues.
❑ You listen at many levels, from “Please go on ...” to making empathetic responses.
[☛8.8 Listening Techniques]
❑ You don’t act on your conclusions until you have checked them out with the other person
and discussed any differences.
❑ You consider your contribution to a problem without taking responsibility for the other
person, and without blaming yourself or the other person.- Information
(gleaned from the
data) - Interpretations
(gleaned from the
information) - Conclusions
(gleaned from your
interpretations)