A POSITIVE COMMUNICATION CYCLE
Note: Many characteristics of the positive communications spiral depend upon:
➠ Metathinking—being aware of how you are processing information as you listen,
➠ Metafeeling—being aware of your own feelings and the feelings of others, and
➠ Metacommunicating—being able to talk about how you are thinking, feeling, and
communicating.234 SECTION 8 TOOLS FORCOMMUNICATION
You are unaware of your
picking and choosing from
the available data, and of
choosing data to fit your
prior hypothesis.
Already off the mark by poor
data selection, you jump to
and respond to unfounded
interpretations. You make bad
assumptions.In the worst case, you draw
positive conclusions from
people who support your
power image and role as a
leader, and negative
conclusions from those who
do not.❑ Be attentive beyond “just the words.” Be aware of other
people’s nonverbals, and be aware of your own feelings.
❑ Work to increase your communication bandwidth. Be aware
of only absorbing a small part of the data available in the
conversation.
❑ Become familiar with your criteria for picking and choosing
from the available data.
❑ Check back using active listening techniques [☛8.7 Active
Listening] to ensure that the information you’re receiving is
congruent with the information the sender intended.
❑ Be aware of criteria others may be using to pick and choose.
Conflicts can be dealt with by having a metacommunication
about what information you and the other person are taking
in. [☛8.5 Metacommunicating]
❑ Be conscious of making interpretations and of whether or
not they are based on good information. [☛13.6 Attribution
Theory]
❑ Check back by using active listening techniques to ensure
that your interpretations are congruent with the other
person’s intent.
❑ Examine your own interpretation rules by reading and
applying the self-awareness tools in this book. [☛6.2
Assumption Analysis, 8.7 Active Listening, 14.7 Personal
Preferences]
❑ Check back with others to see whether your conclusions are
in sync with theirs.
❑ Get feedback from others on how well they think your
conclusions match with what they expected.
❑ Learn about how you draw conclusions, and evaluate your
skill by reading and applying the self-awareness tools in this
book. [☛See tool references above.]- Information
(gleaned from data) - Interpretations
(gleaned from the
information) - Conclusions/
Evaluations
(gleaned from your
interpretations)
❑ In addition to what people are saying, you are sensitive to their tones of voice, to stress signs
in their bodies, and so on.
❑ You observe yourself observing the other, noting when you resist taking in other people’s
words, your observations, and your own feelings.
❑ You are aware of your limited bandwidth of all sensory perception.- Data
Level of
understanding Positive spiral criteria