Encyclopedia of Leadership

Empathy:

❑ Positions and expressed emotions can be better dealt with by trying to understand the

other person’s underlying needs. “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

❑ Understand and honor the other person’s point of view before you confront or state

your differing point of view. [☛8.7 Active Listening]

Conflict:

❑ Recognize that conflict is inevitable, and that the ability to express, deal with, and

resolve conflict is a good measure of an effective team.

❑ Deal with conflict when it is in the “pinch” stage (like a pain when it’s starting to hurt).

Conflict is much more difficult to handle in the “crunch” stage (when the pain gets

out of control).

❑ Conflict is best dealt with by getting it out in the open. Suppressed conflict doesn’t dis-

appear; it is often felt and expressed in undesirable behavior. [☛12.6 Confrontation,

12.7 Dealing with Conflict]

And Some More:

❑ “You can fix things, but you can’t fix people.” Don’t try to fix other people’s feelings

(especially with logic).

❑ Very often, leaders deal with problems in the way that created the problem in the first

place. “More of the same” rarely works with feelings. Metacommunicate by stepping

outside the problem. Focus on the problem, not on the persons.

❑ Get third-party help if you or your workgroup get stuck in conflict.

HOW TO USE THIS LEADERSHIP TOOL

“Conflict ...is a necessary part of becoming a real team. Seldom do we see a group of individuals forge their

unique experiences, perspectives, values, and expectations into a common purpose, set of performance goals, and

approach without encountering significant conflict. And the most challenging risks associated with conflict relate

to making it constructive for the team instead of simply enduring it.”

—J. Katzenbach and D. Smith, THE WISDOM OF TEAMS

Having a highly talented group of individuals in a work team sounds like a desirable situation,

doesn’t it? The tendency is to forge ahead and maximize the team’s talent to get the job done.

A leader is often shocked when the team starts to bicker, some actually sabotaging the success

of others. Strangely enough, hiring the brightest people for innovative and groundbreaking

work usually requires considerable time in building understanding and relationships within

the team. Above all, the team members need to be able to see the advantage of doing their

work as a team; that is, coordinating their activities and talents, rather than simply working as

a group of individuals and pooling their output. [☛10.1 HiPo Teams]

Use the workspace provided to assess your workgroup or team’s performance in dealing

with feelings at work. If possible, involve your workgroup or team in this assessment.

SECTION 8 TOOLS FORCOMMUNICATION 249