Encyclopedia of Leadership

HOW TO USE THIS LEADERSHIP TOOL

“I was angry with my friend.

I told my wrath; my wrath did end.

I was angry with my foe.

I told it not; my wrath did grow.”

—William Blake

If you’re not careful, as a leader you might find yourself going home at night worn out from

dealing with conflicts, whether petty annoyances or deep-seated differences of opinion. Most

of us are personally uneasy with conflict. This tool can lift a load from your shoulders by pro-

viding you with a wider range of options than simply demanding complete resolution or liv-

ing in anger.

Think of two or three conflict situations in your workgroup or organization. What level of

resolution might be most appropriate given the unique circumstances of each situation? Use

the workspace provided to plan how you might work toward closure in each of these conflict

situations.

382 SECTION 12 TOOLS FORLEADINGRELATIONSHIPS

• You change your
  behavior.


• You refuse to be
  drawn into the
  conflict.


• You unilaterally
  change your
  response to red
  flags.


• If the conflict
  cannot be
  managed, an
  option is
  separating or
  distancing the
  persons involved
  in the conflict.


• Obtain satisfaction
  by complaining or
  by passively
  resisting.
  
  
  • Willingness to
    change one’s
    behavior
    unilaterally.
  
  
  • Ability to control
    one’s own behavior
    (“No one can make
    me angry”).
  
  
  • Be able to work
    independently
    from each other.
  
  
  • A stoical or easy-
    going philosophy.
  
  
  • Willingness to live
    in an atmosphere
    of suppressed anger
    and tension.
    
    
    • Often, counseling
      or a workshop is
      helpful to improve
      perspective or
      develop skills.
    
    
    
    
  
  
  
  

[☛15.2 Emotional

Intelligence]

• Often,
  management needs
  to be involved to
  approve the
  separation of roles
  and eliminate
  interdependence.


• Ability to
  supplement
  emotions with
  productive work
  and other
  distractions.
  
  
  • People may not be
    able to live with the
    fact that their
    antagonists do not
    have to change also.
  
  
  • By virtue of their
    roles, people may be
    required to work
    together. In this
    case, one person
    may have to leave
    the organization.
  
  
  • Can be a depressing
    option in the long
    run.
  
  
  
  

Level

Personal

Management of

the Conflict

“I’ll just live with

it.”

Level

Separation or

Distancing

“You go your way,

and I’ll go mine.”

Level

Suffering

“I’ll play the

martyr.”