Friendship 273competition; we would not reveal weaknesses,
inadequacies, or difficulties to a competitor.
And, competition in friendship has been re-
lated to less friendship satisfaction for both
women and men (Singleton & Vacca, 2007).
Competition among men makes them feel
threatened by one another’s achievements. In
general, men are more sensitive than women
to status features in relationships.
Note that I said that male friendships
were moreovertlycompetitive than female
friendships. Competition, however, is not
limited to male friendship. Female friend-
ships can be competitive but the competition
is not as direct or overt. Females are more
uncomfortable than males with overt com-
petition (Benenson et al., 2002). In a labora-
tory study in which a confederate behaved
poorly, males were more overtly competitive
by making negative remarks about the con-
federate, whereas females displayed more
subtle behavior in the form of mean faces
and gestures (Underwood & Buhrmester,
2007). The overt expression of competition
in relationships is viewed as unfeminine, so
women resort to more subtle tactics. A friend
of mine told me of an occasion when her
aunt was so concerned about being the best
dressed person at a party that she refused to
tell her friends what she intended to wear.
This is covert competition. My mother was
once accused of leaving out a key ingredient
of a dessert recipe she passed on to a friend,
another example of covert competition. Thus
competition may undermine friendships for
both women and men but in different ways.
Investigate this issue with Do Gender 8.2.
Aside from direct versus indirect, there
are other distinctions that can be made in
regard to competition. Table 8.1 shows a
number of different kinds of competition.
One study of seventh graders from Canada,
Costa Rica, and Cuba examined the firstthree kinds of competition: hypercompeti-
tion, nonhostile social comparison, and en-
joyment of competition (Schneider et al.,
2005). Hypercompetition involves an intense
desire to win at all costs, without any regard
to the effects on the opponent. Nonhostile
social comparison occurs when we com-
pare our achievement to that of another, but
without anger, hostility, or jealousy. Enjoy-
ment of competition reflects an intense en-
gagement in a competitive activity. Overall,
boys’ friendships contained more competi-
tion than girls’ friendships. However, the
implications of competition for the friend-
ship depended on the nature of the competi-
tion. Hypercompetition was related to more
conflict and less closeness in friendships for
both girls and boys. Enjoyment of competi-
tion was unrelated to friendship closeness
but was related to more companionship in
boys’ friendship. Finally, nonhostile social
comparison was related to more friendship
closeness for boys. Thus the distinctionsDO GENDER 8.2
Female Versus
Male CompetitionInterview your friends to find out how
competition manifests itself in their
friendships. Ask for examples of competi-
tive behavior in their friendships with men
and their friendships with women. Over
what things do people compete: Money?
Status? Physical attractiveness? Grades?
Romantic partners? Are the behaviors that
men identify different from the behaviors
that women identify? Are the behaviors
that people identify about women differ-
ent from the behaviors that people identify
about men?M08_HELG0185_04_SE_C08.indd 273 6/21/11 8:12 AM