The Psychology of Gender 4th Edition

Romantic Relationships 323

more from the relationship than their part-

ner) or underbenefited (receive less from

the relationship than their partner) are dis-

satisfied in relationships, whether male or

female (Cahn, 1992). Women who are over-

benefited feel guilty, whereas women who

are underbenefited feel angry (Pillemer,

Hatfield, & Sprecher, 2008). One study

showed that women—but not men—being

underbenefited predicts divorce (DeMaris,

2007), whereas another study showed that

women—but not men—being overbenefited

predicts lower marital satisfaction (Good-

man, 1999). Thus, it appears that equity is a

stronger determinant of relationship quality

for women than men. See Sidebar 9.3 for an

interesting view of equity and egalitarianism

in relationships by Hugh Hefner.

Equality may be more central to gay

and lesbian relationships than heterosexual

relationships. Same-sex couples have a more

egalitarian division of labor in the home than

heterosexuals (Herek, 2006). Equality may

be especially important to lesbian couples.

One study showed that lesbian couples had

more shared decision making and equal

power compared to gay male or heterosexual

couples (Kurdek, 2003). Equality also seems

to be strongly linked to relationship satisfac-

tion among lesbians (Peplau & Beals, 2001).

These findings are interesting because we

know women are more focused than men on

equality in heterosexual relationships. Thus

equality may have more to do with being fe-

male than with being female in the context of

a heterosexual relationship.

Social Exchange Theory. Accord-

ing tosocial exchange theory, relation-

ship satisfaction is partly determined by the

benefits gained and costs incurred in a rela-

tionship. Benefits may be love and support

as well as the partner’s income. Costs may

anaveragebalance of power. This is the situa-

tion that characterized the Turkish and Indian

marriages. But, are these egalitarian relation-

ships? They can be, but often they are not. If

the domains of power are divided along tra-

ditional gender-role lines, such that women

have power over child care matters and men

have power over economic resources, it is un-

likely the relationship is truly egalitarian.

One determinant of relationship sat-

isfaction for both women and women is

equity(Cahn, 1992). An equitable relation-

ship is one in which a person feels that what

she or he puts into and gets out of a rela-

tionship is equal to what the partner puts

into and gets out of the relationship. People

who report they are overbenefited (receive

DO GENDER 9.4

Economic Independence

One way to determine whether your rela-

tionship isegalitarianis to examine eco-

nomic independence. How much can you

spend without asking your partner? How

much can your partner spend without ask-

ing you? What is the most you have ever

spent without asking your partner? What

is the most your partner has ever spent

without asking you?

Now try the Wagner and colleagues’

(1990) experiment. Ask each member of a

couple to imagine making a fairly expen-

sive purchase. Ask them to imagine that

their spouse approves and to rate how they

would feel: 1=Feel very bad and 5=Feel

very good. Then ask them to imagine that

their spouse disapproves and to rate how

they would feel: 1=Feel very bad and 5=

Feel very good. To determine power, eval-

uate the discrepancy in ratings for spouse

approval versus disapproval (higher dis-

crepancies equal less power).

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