The Psychology of Gender 4th Edition

Romantic Relationships 325

which may make them more responsive to

others’ emotions (Larson & Pleck, 1999).

Sexual Orientation. There is a stereotype

that gay men and lesbians have less well-

functioning relationships. However, the re-

search does not support this claim (Peplau &

Fingerhut, 2007). The vast majority of stud-

ies shows that gay men and lesbians are as

committed and satisfied with their relation-

ships as heterosexuals (Herek, 2006; Peplau &

Fingerhut, 2007). Laboratory research has

shown that gay and lesbian relationships are

similar to that of married individuals in terms

of self-reports of the quality of the relationship,

observations of interactions, and physiologi-

cal reactivity to those interactions (Roisman et

al., 2008). In a 10-year longitudinal study of the

relationships of gay men, lesbians, and hetero-

sexuals with and without children, relationship

satisfaction remained the same over the 10 years

for lesbians, declined and then returned to the

initial state among gay men, declined somewhat

and then leveled off for heterosexuals without

children, and steadily declined among hetero-

sexuals with children, as shown in Figure 9.8

men than men are by women is due to some-

thing about women or something about men.

One such study showed that one partner’s

emotion during a conflict discussion was re-

lated to the other partner’s relationship sat-

isfaction among lesbian couples but not gay

male couples (Gottman Levenson, Gross,

et al., 2003). Similarly, one partner’s sadness

while discussing the events of the day was re-

lated to lower relationship satisfaction for the

other partner among lesbian couples, but not

gay male couples. Thus, it appears that all of

these findings suggest that women are more

strongly affected than men by their partners.

Why are women more affected than

men by what is happening with their part-

ner? Aspects of the female and male gender

roles provide some clues. Women are social-

ized to focus on others, which may explain

why others’ feelings and behavior influence

women’s feelings and behavior. By contrast,

men are socialized to focus on the self, which

may explain why it is only attributes of the

self that determine men’s feelings and be-

havior. In addition, women are more skilled

than men in detecting another’s emotions,

105

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

110

115

120

125

Year of Cohabitation

Mean Relationship Quality

Type of Couple

Lesbian

Gay

Heterosexual-No

children

Heterosexual-Children

FIGURE 9.8 Relationship Quality over 10 Years of Cohabitation Among Lesbians,

Gay Men, Heterosexuals without Children, and Heterosexuals with Children.

Source: Kurdek, 2008a

M09_HELG0185_04_SE_C09.indd 325 6/21/11 12:40 PM