LAUGH
CROSSWORD ANSWERS
Across: 9 Rainstorm, 10 Prowl, 11 Perhaps, 12 Sparkle, 13 Arrive, 16 Swirl, 18 Rope, 19 Upset,
20 Sagas, 21 Boil, 22 Testy, 24 Liners, 26 Amalgam, 28 On a date, 30 Incur, 31 Pentecost
Down: 1 Erupt, 2 Bier, 3 Iscariot, 4 Lobster pot, 5 Imps, 6 Sprays, 7 Folk singer, 8 Sleepless,
14 Resistance, 15 Spellbound, 17 Australia, 20 Sun-baked, 23 Yogurt, 25 Sects, 27 Mope, 29 Atom
My girlfriend has left me because of my
insecurities. No wait, she’s back. She just
went to make a cup of tea. Seen on Twitter
I dreamed that I put too much mixer in my gin
and tonic last night.
I must have overschwepped.
Comedian DARREN WALSH
An Irish dad calls his son in London the day
before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to
ruin your Christmas son, but I have to tell
you that your mother and I are divorcing.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son
asked, shocked.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any
longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each
other and I’m sick of talking about this, so
you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”
The son calls his sister, who explodes on
the phone. “Like heck they’re getting
divorced. I’ll take care of this!”
She calls Ireland immediately, and
screams at her father, “You are NOT getting
divorced. Don’t do a single thing until we
arrive. We’ll both be there tomorrow,” and
hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and
turns to his wife, grinning. “Sorted! They’re
coming to us for Christmas—and they’re
paying their own way.” Seen on Reddit
Jingle
Hells
Twitter users add one word
and ruin a Christmas song@JimmyFallon: Feliz
Navidad-bod@CeeTeeAch: All I Want For
Christmas Is My Two Vaccines@HamillHimself: Little
Drummer Boy George@ConstantGriper: Silent M
Night Shyamalan@albot76: Away In A Pret
A Manger@DesignOutLoud: Baby
Yoda, It’s Cold Outside@ScanDurro: I’ll Still Be Home
For Christmas@alynn1888: Jolly Old Saint
Nicholas Cage@Alana_Spellman: Silent But
Deadly Night142 • DECEMBER 2021