imagined them to be. In fact, it’s just the opposite. The people of high profile whom I’ve met
have been wonderfully “real,” genuine, sensitive, and caring and I’m coming to see that these
are qualities which are common to people who stand out.
One day the phone rang at my home, and it was Ed Asner. He, along with Ellen Burstyn,
read the words of God on the audio tapes of CWG. We got to talking about the eight-column,
top-of-the-page excoriation of me that morning in The Wall Street Journal. “Hey” Ed growled,
“don’t let ‘em get to you, kid.” I could sense his energy shift as he sought to give me some
words of encouragement at what he knew must have been a low point for me. I said that I
was thinking of writing a letter to the Journal in response to its hit piece.
“Naw,” he said, “don’t do that. That’s not who you are. I know a little bit about the press
tearing you apart,” he said, chuckling; then he became serious. “They don’t know who you
are, but you do. Stay close to that, because that’s what’s most important. They’ll come
around. They all come around. As long as you stay who you are. Don’t let anyone or anything
pull you out of your truth.” Ed Asner, like Gary, is a gentle, loving person, who understands all
about authenticity. And lives it.
So does Shirley MacLame.
I met Shirley through Chantal Westerman, then the entertainment correspondent for Good
Morning, America. We were going to be filming an interview for GMA, and on the day of the
shoot Chantal and Nancy and I were lunching in Santa Monica. “I know someone who you
should know, and who should know you, and I’m sure she’d be interested in meeting you,”
Chantal offered over salad. “Can I call her?”
“Who are we talking about?” I asked.
“Shirley MacLame,” Chantal replied casually.
Shirley MacLame? I shouted inside my head. I get to meet Shirley MacLame? Outwardly, I
tried to remain cool. “Well, if you’d like to arrange it,” I said in my best off-handed manner, “go
ahead.”
Do you suppose that if we show people that we’re really excited about something, we
imagine that we’re somehow going to be more vulnerable? I don’t know. I don’t know what
that is. I just know that I’m giving it up. I’m throwing away all the protective wrappers I’ve had
around me so that people would never know what I’m thinking, how I’m feeling, or what’s
going on with me. What’s the point of living if I’m spending half my life hiding out? I’ve tried to
learn from people like Gary and Ed and Shirley
We had dinner with Shirley that night in the private dining room at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Shirley MacLame is a very real person—one of the “real-est” I’ve ever met—and she gets
right down to compelling you to be real with her, too. By that I mean, she doesn’t have time
for a lot of meaningless pleasantries. She’s not much into small talk.
“So,” she said as I slid into the booth next to her, “did you really talk to God?”
“I think so,” I replied modestly.
“You think so?” She was incredulous. “You think so?”
“Well,” I stammered, “that was my experience.”
“Then don’t you think you should say that? Isn’t that what happened?”
“That is what happened. It’s just that some people have a hard time accepting that if I just
pop right out with it.”
“Oh, you care what people think?” Shirley probed, her face now very close, her eyes
searching mine. “Why?”
Shirley is always asking questions. What do you think about this? What do you know about
that? What makes you think that you know what you think you know? How is it for you when
so-and-so happens? I’ve enjoyed several visits with Shirley since, and I’m pretty clear why
she is such an incredible actress. She seems to make every person she meets a case study
taking a very real interest in them, and she gives to each person a very real part of herself.
She holds nothing back. Her joy her laughter, her tears, her truth—it’s all there, given as a gift
from a genuine person being genuinely herself. She does not tailor her behavior, her
personality, her comments, or conversation to anybody for any reason.