You took a Jot of time telling that story.
I’m sorry. I
No, no, no—that wasn’t a complaint; that was an observation. I merely meant to point out that
this episode has obviously become very important to you.
It is. It was.
And what have you learned from it?
Never to make a promise I can’t keep. Especially with my children.
Is that all?
Never to use my knowledge of what someone else wants as a manipulative tool to get
something that I want.
But people “trade” with each other all the time. Such trades are the basis of your entire
economy, and most of your social interactions.
Yes, but there is such a thing as a “fair trade” and there is such a thing as manipulation.
What is the difference?
A fair trade is a straightforward transaction. You have something I want, I have something
you want, we agree they are of more or less equal value, and so we trade. That’s a clean
transaction.
Then there’s exploitation. That’s when you have something I want and I have something you
want but, they are not of equal value. But we do the trade anyway—one of us desperately—
because he needs what the other has and will pay any price. This is what some multi-national
corporations are doing when they offer seventy-four cents Loran hour’s work in Malaysia,
Indonesia, or Taiwan. They call it economic opportunity, but it’s exploitation, pure and simple.
Finally, there’s manipulation. That’s when I don’t even have any intention of giving you what I
am offering. In some cases, this is unconscious. That’s bad enough. But in the worst cases,
it’s done with full awareness that what’s being made is a promise one has no intention of
keeping. It is a stall, a technique, designed to shut the other person up, to appease them in
the here-and-now. It’s a lie, and it’s the worst kind of lie, because it soothes a wound that is
going to be reopened, deeper, later on.