styles. Patrick Keelan, as part of his doctoral dissertation at the
University of Toronto, conducted a study to test this issue. Together
with the late psychology professor Kenneth Dion and his longtime
research partner and wife, Karen Dion, a psychology professor at the
University of Toronto, they followed over one hundred university
students who were in dating relationships over a four-month period.
They found that secure individuals maintained high levels of
relationship satisfaction, commitment, and trust. In contrast, insecure
individuals reported decreasing levels of all three over the same four
months.
But what happens when secure and insecure interact? In a separate
experiment, researchers got observers to rate couples’ functioning
during a joint interaction. It’s no surprise that secure couples—those in
which both partners were secure—functioned better than insecure
couples—those in which both partners were either anxious or avoidant.
But what was more interesting was that there was no observed
difference between secure couples and “mixed” couples— those with
only one secure partner. They both showed less conflict and were
rated as better functioning than were the “insecure” dyads.
So not only do people with a secure attachment style fare better in
relationships, they also create a buffering effect, somehow managing
to raise their insecure partner’s relationship satisfaction and
functioning to their own high level. This is a very important finding. It
means that if you’re with someone secure, they nurture you into a more
secure stance.

TELL ME, IS IT MAGIC?

What is it about people with a secure attachment style that creates this
“magical” effect on their relationships? Are secures always the most
friendly, likable, or sociable people around? Can you recognize them
on the basis of their charm, composure, or self-confidence? The
answer to all these questions is no. As with the other attachment styles,
personality or physical traits won’t give secures away. Secure people