I Can Read You Like a Book : How to Spot the Messages and Emotions People Are Really Sending With Their Body Language

(Frankie) #1
128 I Can Read You Like a Book E

Mood


This system offers a framework to determine what the body is
saying overall. It structures your observations.
Only a delusional person wakes up in the morning and declares,
“Today, I will demonstrate clearly what I am thinking through body
language!” Most of what happens is hardwired. We are good at
blocking portions of our body language but not good at seeing our-
selves as we are. This is based partly on the fact that we respond
to positive and negative feedback to create a repertoire that works
for us socially, both consciously and subconsciously. Remember
the key message of the culture chapter: Unless we are alpha, we
are emulating the alpha and overlaying it to our own catalog of
gestures to maintain identity while keeping alpha happy. Even if we
are alpha, we must constantly be wary of challengers and adapt,
lest she become alpha and we drop to typical.
When I look at someone from across the room, I get a sense of
what is going on in that person’s head. Until now, it was difficult for
me to tell you how I knew. When asked how I could be so sure
what a person’s performance would be on the job, or how she
might interact with other people, I would brush it off with, “It’s my
muse.” By that I meant that I’d made my decision so quickly that I
felt I couldn’t take credit for deciding consciously.
This system codifies what my brain does for me in those cir-
cumstances, and the intent is that it will help your brain learn to do
the same.
Free download pdf