170 I Can Read You Like a Book
likely see superficial signs of female movement patterns, but the
skeleton will anchor the movement in maleness.
With the physical and innately related mental gender differ-
ences in mind, let’s take a look at some basics of human communi-
cation. A good starting point is the gestures I touched on in Chapter
3—adaptors, barriers, and illustrators.Adaptors
One of the most powerful differences between men and women
is in the use of adaptors. I use the word “powerful” intentionally.
Men are tactile creatures who prefer to overdo everything. If one
nail is good, two are better. Comedians have made careers around
this. A dentist once told me that the leading cause of tooth loss
among men is gum disease triggered by brushing too hard. My
personal version of this is the inclination to take two vitamins
instead of one. Fortunately, my brain usually overrides that idiocy.
As I noted before, adaptors are nothing more than the body
finding a way to comfort itself in a foreign or stressful situation.
Think of a coyote pacing in a cage. We find our own ways. A man
waiting outside the delivery room will likely look very much like the
coyote. What do you think is going on in the coyote’s head? Is it any
different from what is going through the expectant father’s head?
Maybe the actual content differs, but the process is the same—
obsession with one thing. When the brain obsesses, the body takes over.
The male tendency toward the tactile means that men will transfer
more physical energy than women in using adaptors. A man will
rub his eyes hard in response to stress, whereas a woman will rub