174 I Can Read You Like a Book
Culture is like a ghost in the machine. Most cultural influences are so
subtle we cannot recognize them. The long-term influence of being
exposed to a culture alters our minds and behaviors forever.Adaptors
Adaptors are the most natural, non-contrived body language
that humans posses, primarily because adaptors are not intended to
emphasize the verbal. They are for the individual’s use only and
most do not even realize they are using an adaptor.
Adaptors may be relatively consistent across cultures, but we
can quickly make wrong assumptions if we look for something
familiar. Just as false cognates in a foreign language (for instance,
muwathif fucket—“Employees only ” in Arabic), assumptions about
the meaning of a gesture by someone from another culture will
likely trap you in a misunderstanding. If there are so many forms of
adaptors that we cannot list them here, imagine what can happen
when viewed from outside a culture. Every culture will develop
specific taboos and meanings whose origins have long since passed
from memory. People in these cultures learn that the specific
action is taboo by social norming.
Assume you develop an adaptor that is to rub all of your
extended fingers and thumb on one hand together while turned
upright. This looks somewhat similar to a gesture for money in the
United States. Now, let’s say your adaptor becomes one that places
your other index finger in the cradle created by these extended
fingertips. You do it frequently when you’re under stress. Now put
an Iraqi in the room with you and raise the stress level. His shock