I Can Read You Like a Book : How to Spot the Messages and Emotions People Are Really Sending With Their Body Language

(Frankie) #1

176 I Can Read You Like a Book


the older man has his hand touching the soldier—a sign they are
beyond violence. The culture dictates that both men save face and
it is exactly what is happening. The model of male interaction that I
learned in Georgia would not include this message. I needed either
an understanding of the Middle East or suspension of all I knew
and a child’s observation to understand the body language.
Taboos are so strong that we can project an image onto people
based on our own interpretation of their body language. We even
anthropomorphize animals to give their body language human mean-
ing. How many times have you heard about a smiling dog? Our
own definitions of what body language means transfers to other
people and cultures as well.

The colors of culture


Even color is cultural and you need to consider it in reading
body language. White means innocence and purity in our North
American culture, but not many others. In Asia, white is the symbol
of death. Black means authority in many cultures, such as American,
but not all. Last year, I went to a science fiction convention in
Atlanta to promote my previous book, How to Spot a Liar. An
extremely tall man wore a strikingly accurate costume, complete
with respirator, to establish his presence as Darth Vader. A friend
told me that, after sharing the elevator with Darth, he found himself
intimidated. “Why?” I asked. He pinned it on the impressive respi-
rator and on past memories, bad memories, that the black leather
and cloak symbolized. Would Darth Vader be intimidating in fuchsia?
How about lime green?
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