A Making It Personal 199
and told you he used his belt for a tourniquet to save a life—his
head hanging down to the right and looking shaken—you would
believe him. In contrast, if he came home freshly showered, in the
same clothes he had on that morning, but no belt, and tells you the
same story with his head hung down to the right and looking shaken,
what do you assume?
Imagine the permutations. Now you get to engage your well-
developed, adult brain by combining your newfound knowledge with
years of human experience. You have reached the “A” in R.E.A.D.,
with an emphasis on the skill of putting behaviors in context.
Factors influencing context
Factors I want to highlight here are where the body language
occurs, your subject’s companions, and various aspects of timing.
Location
Where do you see the body language? Is it in a bar? At church?
At work? In the airport? A car? Each will set expectations of how
the person should behave. For instance, when driving in a car, do
you pick your nose? I know some of you do because I have seen
you. If a man’s home is his castle, his car is his portable castle.
People feel safe in this very personal space. Body language is natural;
you can see exaggerated body language when a person talks on the
phone when driving alone. Why? Most of us have brains that func-
tion well with only one or two tasks at hand—arguably, even the
brains of the Millennial Generation that grew up multitasking with
the aid of handfuls of gadgets. When you go past your task limit,