A Making It Personal 201
so you can communicate things you do not want the alpha to see.
How do you hide personal Internet use at work? Even when you
behave naturally at work, you are displaying your normal work-
self, not the person you are with a tribe of old friends or other
microculture. Your body language will be more formal and less natural.
In an unknown place
When I first joined the Army, another 18-year old kid walked
into the hotel we stayed in the night before our physicals. As I
walked onto the elevator, he followed me with a halting, timid gait.
He held his arms quietly by his side. “Everything okay?” I asked
him. He answered, “I am from Buena Vista (pronounced “bewna
vista” here) and I have never seen an elevator.” Your uneasiness
bleeds through when you are in totally unfamiliar surroundings and
have no frame of reference. Even if you muster the nerve to act
cavalier, your mind is still reaching for more data to create a familiar
picture, and your body language will show it.
Companions
Friends, lovers, coworkers, relative strangers—your interac-
tion with them affects how you present yourself, how much stress
or raw emotion is present, to what extend your culture-specific
gestures show up.
Opposite sex (which you may redefine
as whatever sex attracts you)
Place one very attractive young woman in the presence of 10
heterosexual men around her age. What kind of body language will