Using Body Language to Your Advantage in Business 255
Your projection and filters blind you. I often use the Nothing to
See Here strategy and dumb down your language a bit as I regur-
gitate your own thoughts. I suddenly appear to have the whole
issue wrapped up. Imagine the control you could exercise with an
immense amount of knowledge about a subject if you applied the
same technique.
Never argue when you are wrong, unless for sport
If I play the devil’s advocate for sport, I may take a losing side
just to sharpen my skills. Otherwise, losing an argument sets a
precedent.
If I win every argument, I seem to have secret powers.
How can you possibly win if you frequently argue when you
are wrong? Only rarely would you want to engage in conflict for
sport in the workplace. If you happen to be a professional negotiator
it may boost your stock, but, for the rest of us, it is just dangerous.
You may find yourself in the middle of an argument on the losing
side without wanting to be there, though. At that point, read the
body language of your opposing party and any other witnesses.
How are they perceiving the contest? Is there a smirk of self-
confidence in your opponent? Do the spectators support you or
him? Do you notice a hands-on-hips gesture that projects his
confidence that he has you where he wants you?
Noticing behavior similar to this, you need to choose your
response based on the type of person he is: alpha, hidden super-
typical, typical. You could respond by giving up and, depending on
the circumstances, walking away. Or you could regain a measure