256 I Can Read You Like a Book
of stature by waiting until you can make at least one point that
shakes his confidence. While he is tabulating his answer, concede
so as to leave doubt in his and others’ minds.Never argue and lose in public
Never voluntarily argue with someone in public. Early on in the
Army, I learned to never counsel a subordinate in public. It is undig-
nified for him and, if he happens to make you look stupid, potentially
tragic for you. Also, never argue with a boss in public, because either
you look stupid or he looks stupid and you suddenly look unemployed.
Unless no other option seems to exist, I keep arguments behind
closed doors in a business setting. When forced to get confronta-
tional in public, I will use dirty tricks involving body language, or
interrogation ploys such as attacking the person’s pride or ego to
get him into a position of compromise. (“Someone as bright as you
could not have meant that.”) I may even resort to a little duck-
season/rabbit-season logic shift to make my opponent look bad. For
those of you who were deprived of Bugs Bunny, it simply means
using the person’s reasoning reworded to make him attack his own
logic. When the argument is a matter of opinion, I just push him to
rage and nothing looks as dim-witted as rage.Catch flies with honey
The best use of these body-language tools in business is as an
aid to understanding the real message someone is trying to get across.
You can use them to create, rather than destroy, relationships, and