Using Body Language in Your Personal Life 267
The other question I often ask myself is, “How long can I go
without seeing this person before something changes in the way I
am treated the next time I see her?” If the answer is not long, then
she is an acquaintance.
Dating
How do you approach someone you find attractive and deter-
mine whether or not she is available and interested? Some seem to
have a natural gift for detecting this; others have the mating
instincts of rocks. As a young soldier, I worked with another soldier
who was one of the best-looking men I have ever known. He should
have been able to attract any woman he met. And he would have if
he’d kept his mouth shut. Unfortunately, when he opened his mouth,
women walked away because crass and stupid don’t appeal to
most women. From my perspective, he was a good guy to hang out
with. Why? He was chum. Not achum, but the stuff you throw
into the water to attract sharks. His good looks drew women in,
and I could close the deal. More than once, I connected with a
lovely young woman after she had turned away from his annoying
open mouth. My success was in establishing some common ground.
To do this, R.E.A.D. to determine whether you are hitting or
missing the mark in your conversation. Using the same skill set I
told you about in business, simply watch for stressors in the person’s
speech and body language to find out where her passion is. If she
hates something, and so do you, that is a better place to start the
conversation than, “Come here often?” You may not, in fact, have