266 I Can Read You Like a Book
expectations that “x” will work. Let him think it is working, all the
while nodding until you can see a flaw in the reasoning, and then
point it out. The result is he has gone too far down one track to
reverse course without loss of credibility. Most people will leave
you alone at this point.Friend or acquaintance?
This is the hardest distinction to make, primarily because of all
the microcultures affecting us. Whether it is friend or acquaintance,
we clearly share at least one microculture with the person, and
each one adds layers of complexity to our personalities. Among my
best friends, many are huggers, for example, and hugging signals
that we are close. On the other hand, I have at least one very good
friend for whom hugging would be bizarre. Differences in upbring-
ing and experiences in life make us who we are. To confuse a
reluctance to hug with a lack of affection would be tragic.
When an issue similar to this arises, ask yourself a couple of
logical questions. Does he care about what is going on in your life?
I do not mean the details of your life, but about your general well-
being, what is making you lose sleep, and making you happy. You
can read body language well enough now to tell genuine interest
from perfunctory displays. On the other hand, a woman who is only
interested in what keeps you awake at night may not be so inter-
ested in your overall well-being. R.E.A.D. Use everything you know,
and overlay gender, culture, and context to decide for yourself.