NLP At Work : The Difference That Makes the Difference in Business

spontaneously with comments such as “Well, I just can't,”
indicating that they haven't really considered the question.
However, if you ask the question in a way that encourages them
to consider the possibility—“I know you can't but what would
happen if you did use your skills to help the management
team?”—then the other person has to imagine what that would
be like in order to answer the question.
Eye movements, explained in Chapter 3, give you clues
about whether someone is processing the question or not. If
they answer with an unblinking, immediate “I can't,” it is
unlikely that they have processed the question. However, if
they look away or even defocus, looking straight ahead, some
processing is taking place. Once they have done that they have
gone beyond the barrier.
What we know is that once a possibility is imagined it opens
the door to its becoming reality. When you use this kind of
question you are influencing the possibility of the idea
becoming the outcome. Questions are powerful influencers
because they invite the listener's mind to participate in finding
an answer. Questions are inescapable.

Drivers are statements of need: “I have to finish this article,” “I
must tidy my desk,” “I should go and visit my friend.” None of
these statements implies that the speaker really wants to do
any of these things.
For most people “musts,” “shoulds,” “oughts,” and “have
tos” are accompanied by a feeling of tension. “I must tidy my
desk.” “I should go and visit my friend.” These words are
characteristic of “driven” behaviors, often driven by someone
else even if that is someone from your past, a parent or a
teacher perhaps. Maybe they were the ones who believed that
you must keep your desk tidy.
Outcomes containing words such as “must,” “should,” or
“ought” lose their power because the words suggest outcomes
that belong to someone else. Your true outcomes contain
words such as “really want to” and “can.” The words you use are
an expression of your experience. They trigger very different
types of feeling, which will in turn influence your potential and
your ability to succeed in achieving what you really want.

PRECISION QUESTIONS 99

Questions are inescapable

DRIVERS

Musts, shoulds, and oughts are

accompanied by a feeling of

tension