someone who reminds you continually of what you do wrong?
To choose the most appropriate dialog, in line with our
overall outcomes, we need first to be clear what outcomes we
want to achieve—not only for ourselves but more so for the
person with whom we are dealing.
Consider the following scenarios and imagine the effects of
each of the behaviors, one in line and one out of line.
You want to bolster the confidence of a member of your team.
They frequently come to you with questions:
a Give them the answer or encourage them to find an answer.
b Ask them how someone else in the department (who is
good at this aspect of the work) would do it.
You want to encourage someone to do business with you in the
future. You are talking about their situation, in which there are
several problems.
aTell them specifically about all the problems you have
noticed.
b Ask them to imagine what it would be like if the situation
were just as they wanted it to be.
You want to create a culture of learning in the organization by
supporting a process of giving and receiving feedback. You are
being given feedback.
a Explain why you acted in the way that prompted the
feedback.
b Ask the giver of the feedback to explain what you could do
for them to feel that you have learned from the feedback
they are giving you.
There are no prizes for the correct answers. This is common
sense, after all—but are you aware of how often you use your
common sense? And more important than that, can you
imagine what it would be like if you always acted on the
common sense you know you have?
PRECISION QUESTIONS 105