receive the feedback is a measure of your ability to give it.
❏ Maintain direct eye contact and imagine the receiver of the
feedback both accepting and using the feedback
constructively as you do so.
❏ Recognize that the response you get from others is coming
from the part with which you are choosing to engage. If you do
not understand what I am telling you, it is the
“nonunderstanding” part with which I am choosing to engage.
❏ Be an example at all times of the response you want from
others.
❏ Ask the receiver of the feedback to tell you what they are
going to do with what you have given them. Sometimes it
helps to ask this before you give the feedback, e.g., “If I give
you this feedback what will you do with it?” (This is useful if
you know that the person has a habit of shrugging off or
avoiding feedback.)
The ultimate measure of your skill in giving feedback is that as
a result of the process both you and the person or people to
whom you have given the feedback learn from it and deepen
your connection with each other.
“Today we give each other feedback and we learn from it. What
we used to give each other was abuse!”
Delegate on an in-company course
1 Choose someone to whom you would like to give feedback.
2 Think of the feedback that you would like to give them and
the win/win outcome that you want to achieve by giving
them this feedback.
3 Imagine the context in which you would like to give the
feedback that will be most conducive to its being accepted.
4 Think about how this feedback is as pertinent to you as it is
to them.
5 Think of what resources you need to be able to give this
feedback constructively.
6 Imagine how you can ensure that you are in very strong
rapport with the other person before you give the feedback.
7 Imagine giving the feedback and imagine the other person
receiving it in the way that you would like them to.
Shortcut to developing your ability to give feedback
GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK 345