got (and it is not yet the desired state), then we create a
tension between the two. This tension is what we might call
motivation and it has a momentum of its own that seeks to
close the gap between what we have and what we want.
One of the ways of using this knowledge is in the domain of
coaching. For each of us our most influential state is
congruence. Congruence is a state of total rapport with oneself
when all aspects of who we are and what we are doing are in
alignment. Sportspeople often call this state the flow zone. It
comes as a result of much training and discipline and is the
culmination of everything when the sportsperson can achieve
their personal best with effortless ease.
In Chapter 13 I introduced the logical levels of change
model. The same model is a way of thinking about the degree
of congruence we have within ourselves.Think (just briefly) of a time when you felt uncomfortable with
what you were doing and how you were doing it. It might have
been a time when you felt emotionally uncomfortable and ill at
ease with how you were handling a situation. You might have
felt that you were violating something you consider to be
important or compromising some deeply held beliefs or values.
You will have felt in conflict with yourself and possibly you were
having an inner dialog with yourself to that effect, to the point
where you were unable to give the kind of attention you would
truly have liked to give to the people or the situation.Stand outside of yourself and look and listen to how you were
being at that time. What do you notice about your nonverbal
behavior? What is characteristic in how you sound? Can you
specify your behavior at that time such that you would
recognize if you were to be in the same state again?Think of a time (which might be right now) when you felt that
what you were doing and how you were doing it were just right
for you—a time when your natural abilities just flowed and
everything you wanted to achieve seemed to come together and
you felt that your body and mind were saying “Yes” to how you
were as a person.360 NLP AT WORK