NLP At Work : The Difference That Makes the Difference in Business

a large proportion of the population feels about the work they

do?

On the other hand, when we imagine what we do want we

have corresponding body language. This is how people who

think this way influence the achievement of their goals: They

are acting as if they already have achieved them and the world

responds accordingly. Their behavior is likely to “hang loose,”

they are relaxed, have loose facial muscles, easy moving limbs,

flowing movements. If we watch and listen to the way we are

using our bodies, we can get clues about what we are doing that

is either helping or hindering us to achieve what we really want.

Our posture, our gestures, and our facial expressions and

lines communicate the habits we have developed in our lives.

Take a look in the mirror: What is your face telling you?

Some of us like to be liked and to please other people and

some of us would rather have confrontation and argument.

Sometimes we prefer one approach in one context and

another in a different context. Whichever approach we like

better shows in the way we behave. Someone who searches for

similarity (matching) will seek to be like the person or people

they are with in every way they can. They will move like them,

dress like them, look like them.

You may have noticed how couples who are close to each

other seem to grow to look alike. This is not surprising when

you think that people who are fond of each other or in love will

match each other’s behavior and expressions. Over time the

lines that form on their faces will be similar. Even if their basic

face structure is different, the habits they form together will

show in the way their bodies develop over time. Take a look at

your partner: Do you like what you see? You may be looking at

a mirror image of yourself!

So someone who creates a climate of rapport naturally—

someone who is very approachable and is easy company—is

usually someone who matches others around them. This

doesn’t mean that they agree with everything other people

say. However, they will be searching for the opportunity to

support other people in some way, building them up rather

than knocking them down. Their behavior, including their

movements, their posture, their facial expressions, their

72 NLP AT WORK

Acting as if we have already

achieved our goals

What is your face telling you?

OUR RELATIONSHIPS

WITH OTHERS