CHAPTER 14
The Social Self
ROY F. BAUMEISTER AND JEAN M. TWENGE
327BELONGINGNESS, SOCIAL EXCLUSION,
AND OSTRACISM 328
Theoretical Background 328
Aggressive Behavior and Prosocial Behavior 328
Self-Defeating Behavior 330
Cognitive Impairment 330
Larger Social Trends in Belongingness
and Negative Outcomes 331
THE SELF AS AN INTERPERSONAL ACTOR 331
Self-Esteem and Interpersonal Relationships 332
Narcissism and Interpersonal Relationships 334
Reflected Appraisals 335
Influence of Others’ Expectancies 336
SELF-PRESENTATION 336
Favorability of Self-Presentation 336
Cognition and Self-Presentation 337
Harmful Aspects of Self-Presentation 338
INTERPERSONAL CONSEQUENCES OF SELF-VIEWS 338
Self-Views Alter Person Perception 338
Self-Evaluation Maintenance 339
Self-Monitoring 340
Partner Views of Self 340
Self-Handicapping 341
EMOTIONS AND THE INTERPERSONAL SELF 341
Shame and Guilt 341
Embarrassment 342
Social Anxiety 342
Disclosing Emotion and Personal Information 343
CULTURAL AND HISTORICAL VARIATIONS
IN SELFHOOD 343
Culture and Society 343
Historical Evolution of Self 344
Medieval Times to the Twentieth Century 345
The 1960s to the Present 345
REFERENCES 346It is difficult to think about the self without referring to other
people. Although the very concept of the self seems to denote
individualism, the self is nevertheless incomplete without
acknowledging our interactions with others. People often
describe themselves in terms of relationships (husband, son,
mother) or as a member of a profession (and thus as a member
of a social group). Even personality traits are usually concep-
tualized in comparison to other people (one is not extraverted
per se, but extraverted compared to others). Self-esteem re-
flects what others think (Leary, Tambor, Terdal, & Downs,
1995). Attempts at self-control can benefit or harm others
(e.g., smoking and drinking; Baumeister, Heatherton, & Tice,
1994). People’s behavior can be radically affected by social
rejection or exclusion (Twenge, Baumeister, Tice, & Stucke,
2001; K. D. Williams, Cheung, & Choi, 2000). Selves do
not develop and flourish in isolation. People learn who and
what they are from other people, and they always have identi-
ties as members of social groups. By the same token, close
personal relationships are potent and probably crucial to the
development of selfhood. A human being who spent his or
her entire life in social isolation would have a stunted and
deficient self.
In addition, the self is inherently interpersonal because
relating to others is part of what the self is for.The self is con-
structed, used, altered, and maintained as a way of connect-
ing the individual organism to other members of its species.
By this we are not positing a mysterious homunculus that cre-
ates the self to serve its own purposes. Instead, we begin by
acknowledging that the need to belong is a fundamental
human need that serves the innate biological goals of survival
and reproduction (see Baumeister & Leary, 1995), and so
psychological mechanisms such as the self are likely to be
shaped to foster interpersonal connection. The biological
evolution of the species presumably established the cognitive
and motivational basis of self, and the experiences of the in-
dividual within an immediate social context builds on these
bases to shape the self in ways that lead to establishing and
maintaining some important social bonds. If no one likes you,
the odds are that you will start asking “What’s wrong with
me?”—and making changes to the self when you reach some