plan to provide even more money when you will most
need it." Or, the parent says to the teen-age daughter,
"You cannot have a date tonight because you need to study
for your math exam, but you can have a birthday party
at the club Saturday night."
( d ) Take an opposite position to that which
caused the frustration. For example: If you have caused
a feeling of frustration-aggression by belittling a person
and thus reducing his feeling of importance and damaging
his precious self-image, take an opposite position; openly
express your admiration for his good qualities, repairing
the damage to his self-image by commendation and praise.
Tactfully and sincerely done, this will erase the frustration.
( e) Eliminate or reduce the feeling of frustra-
tion. Remember, it is not what happens to a person, but
how he feels about what happens, that really counts. Thus,
if you can induce the feeling that the restrictions, restraints
or whatever, are not of great consequence-if you de-
emphasize their impact by not "making a major produc-
tion" out of them-you, to that extent, directly de-emphasize
the feeling of frustration.
( 3) In some cases, you must eliminate, divert
or suppress aggression first-before eliminating the frustra-
tion which caused it. (Always, you eventually must elimi-
nate the frustration, too.) Here are some ways by which
you can eliminate aggression:
( a) Psychiatrists call it «catharsis". This means
that you drag the feeling of aggression out of the sub-
conscious, expose it in the open, give it full expression and
it will use itself up until it no longer exists.