How to communicate
People recognize the need to communicate but find it difficult.
Like Schopenhauer’s hedgehogs, they want to get together, it’s
only their prickles that keep them apart.
Words may sound or look precise, but they are not. All sorts of
barriers exist between the communicator and the receiver. Unless
these barriers are overcome the message will be distorted or will
not get through.
BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION
Hearing what we want to hear
What we hear or understand when someone speaks to us is
largely based on our own experience and background. Instead of
hearing what people have told us, we hear what our minds tell
us they have said. We have preconceptions about what people
are going to say, and if what they say does not fit into our frame-
work of reference we adjust it until it does. (Advice on how to
listen is given later in this chapter.)
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